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And probably, if their moms walk by or pick up the extension, just to check, they might overhear something like, “My mom said I could not go to see that (Rancid, Aaron Carter) show because I did not clean my room. My mom is such a bitch.” Teenage girls never clean their rooms. When they clean their daughters’ rooms, some mothers find notes about missing homework assignments, or boys, or notes that say “My mom is such a bitch.” They find teen magazines or porn URLs on the computer. Some find empty Budweiser bottles, condoms, sweatshirts that smell suspiciously like tobacco — or they find actual cigarettes. Several texts online, including "Alice Adams," "The Gentleman from Indiana," and "The Magnificent Ambersons." Also some sound files. From Project Gutenberg. 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Don’t ever come into my room again! You are the worst mother in the world!” Are you wincing yet? The spring publishing list has brought us two memoirs written by mothers about their demon daughters, both of which cover this familiar terrain in exhausting, excruciating, mind- numbing detail: “Augusta, Gone” by Martha Tod Dudman and “Hold Me Close, Let Me Go” by Adair Lara (who refers fondly to her daughter, Morgan, as her “hellchild”). Taken together, they present a good case for the argument that most unhappy families — at least unhappy families consisting of mothers and their rebellious teenagers — are alike, Tolstoy be damned. Adolescent rebellion — from playing music that parents loathe to hanging out with strange, spiky- haired boys to experimenting with sex and drugs and alcohol — differs more in degree than it does in kind. On the one side is a screaming teenager who insists that she is fine, she is in control, she is independent, she is misunderstood. On the other side is a mother who insists that her daughter is not fine, who fears for her safety and who also sometimes screams. Both mother and daughter love each other and hate each other in equal measure. Both are prone to fits of drama and exaggeration. As a reader, it is difficult, if not impossible, to sift out a true and accurate account of what actually happened during the teen years of these girls. But truth and accuracy, in these books, are nearly beside the point. It’s more interesting to look at what these mothers think happened to their daughters than it is to concern oneself with whether they are correct. Dudman is a single mother and a former radio station owner; she lives in Bangor, Maine. Lara is on her third marriage. She lives in San Francisco, where she is a columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. Both of the authors are 4. Both are well- educated and middle to upper- middle class. These are not pleasant books. Reading them is about as much fun as fighting with your own teenage daughter or refereeing the birthday party of a friend’s teenager when 5. By the time you are done, you just might be tempted to smoke some crack yourself. Of course, these books are not meant to be pleasant. They can be read as true- life horror stories. In an interview with Publishers Weekly, both the authors and their respective editors talked about the dearth of books for mothers of difficult teens written by mothers who had lived through the experience. This was a special- interest niche that both authors hoped to fill. Their message is: Love your daughter. Their message is: Mother knows best. Their message is: Good girls grow out of it. If your kid is nearing the end of sixth grade, stock up on breathalyzers. Now.) But I did not find these books at all reassuring. I did not see them as horror stories because, mostly, I was not shocked by the daughters’ behavior, which for the most part is a familiar litany of sneaking out, smoking, drinking and dabbling in drugs. Simply put: Being a good girl is boring. Being a bad girl is exciting. Being a good mother is excruciating. Both mothers, who were themselves bad girls, know the lure of rebelling against the predictable boredom of good girlhood. This is what makes these books such schizophrenic portraits of family life. As former hellions now firmly ensconced in stable, comparatively boring middle age, both mothers seem intoxicated with their daughters’ youth, beauty, sexual gumption and general badassedness, envious of their freedom and in awe of their daring. Secretly, I thought that Lowell, with its legions of meek, accomplished students who did A work but had to be prodded into opening their mouths, could use a few more Morgans.”) At the same time, as mothers deeply mortified to be raising bad girls, they see it as their duty to curb or cut off completely their daughters’ sexuality, restrict their freedom and keep them safe. The authors’ pasts collide with their maternal self- consciousness and explode in narcissistic guilt. Their daughters’ teenage years so closely parallel those of their mothers that one can certainly see why the mothers suspect that their daughters’ rebellion must have something to do with them. If a factory is judged by its product, I’m a bad mother.”) But the parallels are so striking that it’s also difficult to imagine that these mothers see anything but photographic reflections of themselves and their families in their daughters. And this just may keep them from understanding anything about their daughters, as individuals, at all. She was the only person in her family to go to college, and still has a marked distaste for her extended family’s chain- smoking, trailer- dwelling, undereducated lifestyle, though she loves them and spends time with them all the same. Lara’s daughter, Morgan, also becomes pregnant at 1. But even before her pregnancy, Lara and her family seem to have a weird sort of hysteria about Morgan’s sexuality. Lara’s sisters say they don’t trust her at home around their husbands and boyfriends (“Mom,” cries Morgan, “I can’t help it if I have big boobs!”) and Morgan’s stepfather becomes disgusted when Lara tells him that Morgan is no longer a virgin. She refuses her daughter all financial support and plans to kick her out of the house if she continues the pregnancy. 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